I should be getting my cast off next Wednesday. One week from today. I'm really looking forward to getting the cast off and being able to move my foot again, but I'm also scared too. There is a possibility that my foot will not have healed correctly or completely and that surgery might be necessary or at least a few more weeks with a new cast...but, to be honest, I am more scared of trying to get myself back to were I was before the accident.
Ballet, for me anyways, is a constant battle of trying to increase your abilities (or at least maintain your current level) while balancing work and school and real responsibilities like watering the plants and washing the dishes. I feel like I've been climbing this beautiful yet terrific mountain to reach my goals and I was so close to the summit when I got pushed back by a sudden avalanche. I know I want to go straight back up the mountain and get back on that proverbial horse, but golly-gee-wiz I am pretty discouraged right now.
Nutcracker try-outs will be held on September 14th a mere 24 days from now (only 17 days from the day that I get my cast off). Even if my doctor does clears me to return to ballet immediately (I'm pretty sure that won't happen), I don't think I would be strong enough to do pointe work for at least a month after getting back to class.
I knew as soon as it happened that the Nutcracker would be out this year, but the reality of it gets a little harder everyday. I think I might ask if I can sit in on auditions and maybe a few rehearsals so that I might have a slight advantage of knowing what to expect for when I try again next year. For now I'm trying to stay positive about the experience.
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