Broken

So when I started this post it was going to be completely different than what it will be now... but more about that later. 

My original post was going to be about my first class back after a two week break.  I was thinking of titling the post "The Early Bird" because I got to the ballet studio 30 minutes before my class. My ballet teacher told me I could warm up in the studio if I wanted! I felt kind of silly all by myself, but I took advantage of the space and did some plies, releves, and battements to warm up my muscles. I moved away from the bar and did a few pirouettes and some of those familiar tombes pas de bourrees combinations. It was nice to have the whole space to myself, even if I wasn't doing much. I was so happy to be back in ballet class and I couldn't want to write about it here. I was nervous about such a long break, but I felt like I was finally home again. 

My empty studio. It isn't much, but I love it. 

So now that I've told you what I was going to write about on Monday evening, I'm going to tell you why I couldn't write "The Early Bird" post and why it has taken me until now write this new post. During the very last combination of our class, on the very last step of the combination, I jumped and landed poorly on my right foot and fell to the ground. It happened so fast, I hardly remember being airborne, but I do remember hearing a pop as I came down. I didn't find out officially until later, but I had fractured a bone in my right foot. 

I stood up so fast, I didn't feel any pain, my teacher thought I had just slipped or twisted my ankle. She asked if I could walk and if I wanted ice. I vaguely remember looking down at my foot and seeing a lump under my pink tights, but I walked into the office and we put my foot up on a stool and put some ice on it. I thought I was going to be ok; I felt weird, but I didn't feel too much pain. Mostly I felt super embarrassed for interrupting class and having fallen so badly in front of a couple of the much more advanced dancers! I pulled off my ballet slipper and pulled my convertible tights over my toes and I knew something was wrong. The swelling had grown from marble sized to egg sized within 30 seconds. I started to feel very hot, and sick, and dizzy. The office lady gave me water to drink and I felt better, but everything was going kind of colorless. I asked if I could lay down on the floor. 

I started to cry, and they called my boyfriend and my mom and an ambulance. All I could think about was the Nutcracker tryouts in September. I don't remember what my ballet teacher asked me, I think it was something about the amount of pain I was in, and all I could say was "I wanted to be in the Nutcracker". My teacher was so sweet and said that I will have plenty of time before tryouts to recover and that she knows I am hard worker and that I have been improving so much over that past few months. The ambulance was on it's way by that time and my teacher asked me if I had a jacket or anything in my bag because it is always cold in hospitals. When I said I didn't, she gave me her own jacket and wrapped it around me so that I wouldn't get too cold. 

I want to remind you that all of this was happening right at the end of my class and right before the adult ballet class was supposed to start so the studio was PACKED with people. I was so embarrassed. My teacher left the office to try to get the other class started and out of the waiting room so that the EMT's could come through when they arrived. One of the more advances students ( she has taught a couple of my classes actually and I think she used to be in a company) came into the office with me and told me that she broke her foot in the same place a few years back and now everything is fine. Even though I've seen her dance beautifully in class, all I could ask her was "So you can still dance? Your foot is ok?". All I could think about is those horrible stories that you hear of injuries taking ballerinas out for life. 

The EMT's arrive ( like 6 giant men! HUGE! think The Rock or Hercules) and asked me a few questions about what happened and how old I was and stuff like that. Just as they were loading me up into the ambulance my Love got to the ballet studio. I asked him to take a picture of me in the ambulance, because how often do you get to ride in an ambulance? ( hopefully not too often because it was boring and expensive) I didn't realize how sad and pathetic I looked when I asked for the picture. Later, when I looked at the photo on my phone in the hospital I couldn't stop laughing!

Well that will be all for now. I fractured the 5th metatarsal (the long bone behind the pinky toe) near the ankle joint. I have to see an orthopedic surgeon to make sure that I don't need surgery to mend the bone. But, very sadly, it is safe to say that I won't be dancing for a while. However, I am not going to let this get me down. I may not make it into the nutcracker this year like I had hoped, but there will always be next year or even the spring show! I'm going to keep blogging about my journey, so stay tuned in! 

Keep Dancing!